Slave to the Business

If you've ever had a little brother or sister then unknown to yourself, you've just been taught the fundamentals of life in an IT dept. Lets imagine these roles:-

VP Business - Father called Victor

IT Director - Mother called Patsy

IT Programmer - Son called Dick (aged 10)

Business Manager - Daughter called Winny (aged 5)

When the business ask for anything directly to an IT Employee, the normal reaction is to avoid direct eye contact and hope the little rascal eats the choclate laced rat poison in a jar labelled "for business employees only". If the low level Business Manager is still alive after a few days, then they will attempt to make contact again and if the repsonse, or lack of, is the same then people you only see telling lies on Bloomberg & CNBC, namely VP's and CIO's, soon get copied onto emails directed to you, reluctantly prompting you into some action. Suddenly this petty task is deemed more important by the IT Director than the Exchange Server going into serious meltdown or your Invoice system accidentally sending all invoices to the IT Directors Kitchen renovator as he once tried to claim the work through his expenses under Home IT infrastructure Requirements.

Nuisance Business calls are like your little 5 year old sister, Winny (Business Manager), asking to play with your Playstation. You ignore her repeated attempts and place a 5-lever mortice lock on every door, drawer and window in your room. At this point Winny gets frustrated that she can't get what she wants and proceeds with the puppy dog look on her gullible father, Victor (VP Business).

Victor is normally worried about his bonus so will simply call in his wife, Patsy, for a two minute lecture. Patsy (IT Director) then beats the hell out of Dick (IT Programmer) and threatens to take away his Playstation unless he does what Winny wants. Dick now knows not to mess with Winny as he will simply get a hiding from Mother and have all his toys taken away.

Winny also knows she has Victor under her thumb and simply has to run to him if she wants something from Dick.
Patsy has no choice in any matter and takes small measures to appease Victor by giving Dick some work to improve his manners i.e. An Improvement Plan.
These plans can last years or until Dick decides enough is enough and runs away from home to seek shelter with new parents who have no kids, and more importantly, cannot have any kids.

Winny knows as long as Father is always around, Dick is under her control. Patsy knows that Victor has the final say and if Victor says bend over, then Patsy raises her skirt and duly obliges like a true IT Director to the VP of Business.

So you see, working in IT is like looking after your spoilt sister as you have to act and behave at all times when the Business have your number on all their speed dial buttons at work and home.

Father always sits at the head of the table, but its Dick who's saying all the prayers.